


Two is Love...But Three's a Crowd

by BriellaBleu



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-06-07
Packaged: 2018-11-06 08:31:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11032473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BriellaBleu/pseuds/BriellaBleu
Summary: Savitar is evil, but he's still Barry Allen and he still feels something for Iris West whether he wants to or not. What happens when in a 'human' moment Savitar starts to wonder how he could fit into Iris' life?Based off the Iris/Savitar/Barry scenes in episode 3x23.





	1. Savitar (Part 1)

He came here for one thing. 

The Philosopher’s Stone weighed heavily in Savitar’s pocket as he ambled behind Barry towards the Cortex. He couldn’t help the wry smirk that crossed his face as he stared at the back of the ‘real’ Barry’s perfectly coiffed head. The genuine naivety that his past self had was almost astonishing, so much so that it had him wondering had he ever really been that dumb? The fact that Barry was trusting him to “come home” without any ulterior motives was laughable and yet, here they were.

There was a heaviness spreading through Savitar and it had been happening ever since he realized that Iris had survived. He knew exactly what that feeling was, that suffocating, enveloping, stifling feeling of impending doom. His time was drawing near and soon he would be erased from existence. Once again, abandoned, forgotten and cast aside. Not without a fight though, he would not go quietly into the night. He worked too hard, planned too long, and manipulated too many things to have all that labor and genius be made obsolete because of H.R. Wells of all people. He refused. His ascension to God-like status would be completed tonight and he would never, ever be forgotten again.

His resolve strengthened as he took the final steps into the Cortex and he was met with audible gasps from everyone in the room. He immediately felt uncomfortable and he was instantly taken back to the weeks after he was created where every time he stepped foot into STAR Labs he was met with anger, distrust, disinterest or a sick combination of all three. That feeling only got stronger when Joe stalked towards him with a threatening finger pointed at his face and told him not to make a move towards Iris. He heard Barry assure Joe that he wasn’t there to kill Iris and as the words bounced around in his head he thought for one sick moment, ‘but what if I was?’ 

The thought was fleeting, interrupted by the trembling, rage-induced voice of Julian demanding to know where Cisco and Caitlin were. Savitar inwardly scoffed as he ignored Julian. He heard Barry answer for him but those words of reassurance fell on deaf ears as they should have, Cisco and Caitlin were not safe. None of them were. But Savitar would play along a little while longer until he was able to what he came here to do. He glared at Wally as he sauntered past him before telling the group that if they figured out a way to help him he would tell them where their friends were. The offer was met with immediate vitriol from Joe and Julian--as he knew it would be--and he reveled in the fact that he got under their skin so much. That he could dangle something that they wanted in their faces and there wasn’t a damn thing they could do about it. 

Those smug thoughts immediately evaporated when he looked up and saw Iris slowly walking towards him. His mouth instantly became dry and suddenly it was hard to swallow. He averted his gaze but like moth to a flame his eyes kept coming back to her face over and over again until finally he forced himself to look away. 

“Iris, stay away from him!” Savitar heard Wally sharply command the woman approaching him but she didn’t listen. He knew this because he could still hear the dull thump sound from her boot heels with every step she made towards him. He knew because he could smell the scent of the Chanel perfume he remembered buying for her on their 3 month anniversary. He knew because he could _feel_ her. That heady rush he always got when she was anywhere near him. That same rush that made him want to touch her, that made him feel as if he had to touch her in order to calm the indescribable sparks of electricity that skidded across his skin and only seemed to be calm but the feel of her skin against his. He remembered everything about her and he hated it. It made him feel weak and vulnerable and it was distracting him from what he came to do. He did not have time for the Barry Allen side of him and his weakness for Iris West. Gods did not have weaknesses and he was a G--

“Look at me.” 

He was just a man. That realization him like a ton of bricks as Iris’ cool voice washed over him. He couldn’t resist her, he never could. She was Iris. He stubbornly refused to look at her because he knew if he did he would be lost. He could not lose this battle, his life literally depended on it. 

“It’s okay, look at me.” 

He had the determination of a hundred men but apparently even that wasn’t a match for Iris. His eyes lifted to meet hers slowly, cautiously and of their own accord. Even knowing that he was going to be met with her hatred and condemnation he still couldn’t help but look at her. 

Her brown eyes were steady and warm. She should hate him or be terrified or at the very least be sickened by his appearance but she was none of those things. She was just Iris. The girl he remembered with the big beautiful brown eyes and an even more beautiful heart. 

Time slowed to nothing as he saw her lift her hand to his face slowly. To the scarred side of his face. The side that no one ever wanted to look at too long, including himself. The side that was reminder of the monster he truly was. Iris lifted her hand to that side as if it were nothing and slid her cool silky hand against his cheek. His knees buckled slightly at the first touch of her hand--the first positive human touch he could remember in what felt like centuries. His eyes closed involuntarily as a feeling washed over him that he couldn’t quite name. It was so foreign yet so familiar. It felt good, so good, but not normal. Like his body knew what it was but it couldn’t remember what to call it. 

“We’re going to help you, okay?” 

This is not what he came to STAR Labs for but at that moment he couldn’t think of anything other than her words. She said they were going to help him, and he believed her. Of course he believed her, she was Iris. 

He tore his gaze from hers and looked over at Barry who gave him a reassuring nod. Savitar looked back down at Iris who was watching him thoughtfully and he whispered to her, “thank you.” The words didn’t sound right coming out of his mouth. It may as well have been another language for all the sense it made to him but he couldn’t stop himself from saying it. 

Julian’s sharp, irritated voice rang out and skated across Savitar nerves like a cheese grater. He fought the urge to grit his teeth after being yanked unceremoniously out of his moment with Iris. Despite the reality of the situation being dumped back in the forefront by Julian, Iris still remained by his side and foolishly his cold, dead heart warmed imperceptibly at that. 

On the other hand, being reminded how much the rest of team, including Tracy Brand, hated him left him feeling ostracized. Again. He deserved it, he knew he did, but once again he was right back to feeling hated, rejected and discarded. A cycle for him that he was destined to play out no matter what happened to Barry. 

But still she stayed. Even when Tracy refused to help and all but condemned him to death she stood by his side. She didn’t give up on him. She thought he was worth saving if no one else did and that was all that mattered. He didn’t need anyone else, he realized. She was all he needed. She was **his**.


	2. Savitar (Part 2)

“I think I know someone who can get through to her...” 

Savitar looked down at the small hand that was suddenly on his forearm and he tightened his body in response to the shiver he felt creeping up his spine when he felt the tip of Iris finger brush against his wrist. He couldn’t help but focus on the pale pink polish adorning her nails. He couldn’t remember the name of the style of manicure she always got but he could defintely remember the feeling of those perfect nails scratching and digging into his back whenever she was on the brink of coming apart in his arms when they made love.

He swallowed around a large lump in his throat and he suddenly felt hot. Too hot. He backed away slightly until Iris dropped her hand from his arm. She gave him a slightly peculiar look and foolishly he worried for a second that he hurt her feelings.

“It’s going to be okay.” She reassured him again and he gave her a slight nod in acknowledgement. He watched as she walked away and she said sharply to everyone in the room before leaving, “Everybody’s cool, right?” 

Julian, Joe, and Wally all shot her withering glances but they all quietly agreed that everything was cool. Savitar knew that translated to ‘no, we won’t kill him while you’re away.’ And he knew that they wouldn’t. Iris had spoken, and that was the end of it. He remembered all to well the lengths he would go to in order to make her happy and keep her happy. She didn’t require much which is why it made it so easy to lay the world at her feet. It was something that Savitar remembered loving to do; the smile that would spread across her face was enough to light the darkest night. Just the memory of it alone was enough to mend his broken black heart into something living and capable of loving again.

He was created from a place of pure unadulterated grief and pain it was all he knew. But what he _remembered_ was happiness and light, first kisses and declarations of love. Making out on the couch like teenagers and making love in front of the fireplace because they couldn’t make it a step further without having each other. He remembered breakfasts in bed and midnight picnics with Chinese food that they ALWAYS regretted in the morning. He remembered laying in bed with her on a lazy Sunday morning and coming up with outrageously ironic names for their future children like Dash and Tulip. He remembered loving her. He remembered their life together. They could go back to that, it would be so easy. She said it herself no matter what he’ll always be Barry and she’ll always be Iris and they’ll always find each other. She was right he was Barry and she was Iris and nothing would keep them apart.

Except...

Savitar’s thoughts turned instantly stormy when he saw Iris stop in front of Barry on her way out of the Cortex. She had been in the process of putting her jacket back on but one of the folds had gotten tucked into her side. Savitar watched with gritted teeth as Barry grabbed the lapel of Iris’ jacket and tugged her closer to him gently before turning his hand slightly and sliding it down the inside of the jacket until he reached her side and could dislodge the fabric from where it was caught. The whole exchange took four maybe five seconds but Savitar didn’t miss the small catch in Iris’ breath when the back of Barry’s hand grazed the side of her breast. He also didn’t miss the tiny smile they exchanged or the way Iris tugged her burgundy bottom lip with her teeth.

Savitar looked away, disgusted, but he forced himself to look back at the scene playing out in front of him. To his confusion when he looked back a few seconds later he found Iris and Barry standing several feet apart with her watching him with expectant look on her face.

“What?” He asked quietly and defensively once it became apparent to him that everyone was waiting on him to speak. 

“I said,” Iris began, “could you come with us to the medical bay?” 

“Us?” Savitar asked, distrust apparent in voice. 

“Me and Barry,” she answered carefully, “it’s probably best if we’re all in separate rooms, yeah?” 

Savitar glanced at Joe and Julian and they were both staring at him with deep-seated, murderous looks in their eyes.

“What about my help? If Tracy Brand doesn--”

“Wally is taking care of that for me. Don’t worry, we’ve got someone that can get through to Tracy.” 

Savitar looked around and for the first time noticed that Wally had left the room. Had he been that into his walk down memory lane that he completely missed that? He cursed himself under his breath for his stupidity but it didn’t stop him from walking towards the entrance of the Cortex where Iris stood waiting for him. He looked past her and saw that Barry was watching him with an unreadable expression on his face, but once they made eye contact Barry gave what Savitar assumed was supposed to be a reassuring nod. 

It wasn't reassuring at all. 

In fact, if anything it was smug and self-satisfied and it gave Savitar the impression that Barry thought he'd won and that only made him hate him more than he already did.

"Hey," he heard Iris say softly as she took a step towards him, "it's going to be okay."

Savitar looked down at Iris and he felt the stirrings of anger melt away as he stared in her brown eyes. She gave him a slight smile before tilting her head towards the hallway. "Come on, let's get out of here."

She gently grabbed his elbow and he let her lead him out of the Cortex with Barry following behind them. Savitar suppressed his own self-satisfied smirk as he thought about Barry following behind them and seeing them together. He could practically feel Barry's eyes boring in the back of the skull as he pulled his elbow tighter to his side. The movement brought Iris closer to him and he took satisfaction in the annoyed huff of breath that Barry let out.

That feeling proved to be one that Savitar would only get to enjoy briefly because the moment they entered the medical bay Iris moved away from him. She gave him an apologetic smile as she did so but it still didn’t take the sting away, especially when he saw her move closer to Barry. They didn’t touch but they were like two magnets seeking it’s pair. He could literally feel that connection but he was on the outside looking in. He was like a live wire, ripped away from it’s connection and snapping and snarling as it flailed on the ground. Too dangerous to touch. Too broken to fix. The only thing that could be done with him is to have his power source cut. His electricity taken away. His spark stolen.

He looked back at Iris who was watching him with a steady gaze. He tried to focus on her but it was impossible with Barry watching him in the background. Savitar felt bitter bile rise up in his throat and he turned angrily as he walked through the room. Echos of memories floated through his mind as he remembered working with Cisco, Wally and Julian in this room and the snarky comments and arguments that went along with it. He remembered trying to explain things to Joe as he stared blankly at him. He remembered the late nights when he would urge Iris to go home without him and get some rest but she’d poke her bottom lip out and tell him that she couldn’t sleep without him so he’d have no choice but to give in and either let her stay or go home with her.

“Strange being back here...” He heard himself murmur quietly as he walked around the room. 

“You remember STAR Labs?” Iris asked, almost disbelievingly.

That comment rubbed him the wrong way and he felt himself bristle in response. “I remember everything.” He answered as he walked past her. He stared at her a beat too long and out of the corner of his eye he saw Barry take a step closer to her. Anger started to bubble uncontrollably in Savitar’s veins as he watched Barry stand protectively by Iris side. As if he belonged there. As if he had the right. 

Savitar turned his back to rage-inducing sight and instead focused his attention on the machine he helped build. “This is where we came up with the Cerebral Inhibitor...to defeat DeVoe”

“Who?” 

_Idiot._ Savitar thought to himself as he blew out an exasperated breath before turning around and saying, “You haven’t gotten there yet.” 

And in that moment the thought struck him, would they get there? The future in which Team Flash was forced to create the Cerebral Inhibitor was a future where Iris West was dead. A future, because of HR Wells, that no longer existed. A future...a past...a memory that was no longer his. Savitar trained his gaze on Iris briefly and realized that _this_ Iris was not **his** Iris. At this point in time his Iris was dead. This life and the future memories that this Iris will make don’t include him and they were never meant to include him. A bone deep cold feeling washed over him and it was worse than the heat of the anger. For the first time since he was created he actually felt dead inside. 

“So, how’s this going to work? Where will I live?” He asked, trying and failing to keep the bitterness and hatred out of his voice. 

“What do you mean?” Barry asked. 

“Are Wally and I going to be bunk mates?” Savitar pressed on as Barry and Iris shot each other uncomfortable glances, “Am I supposed to rejoin Team Flash and fight some Rogues? What kind of life were you thinking I’d lead?” 

“I...I hadn’t gotten that far yet.” Barry answered with a shrug.

“How do we explain me at the wedding? And do I sit bride side...or groom side?” 

“We don’t have all the answers,” Barry answered awkwardly as he ran his hand down the back of his head, “but we’ll figure it out. Together.” 

Savitar watched as Barry looked over at Iris and she smiled gently in return. He hated Barry Allen with every fiber of his being and in that moment he hated _this_ Iris West nearly as much. 

“No...” Savitar began as he trained his gaze on Iris, “not together.” 

Iris looked away from Barry and gave Savitar a confused look at the intensity in his voice. That look only infuriated him more. He remembered when she looked at him with nothing but love in her eyes. He remembered cuddling on the couch on late nights and staring into each other's eyes as they tried to guess was the other was thinking. He remembered laughing eyes, and sad eyes and even angry eyes. But never this. Not this. These distant, pitying eyes. Iris never looked at him like this. She never pitied him. His Iris would never do that to him. 

“Love and hate are so close together it’s easy to mistake one for the other.” He said, each word dripping from his lips like acid rain drops. “You’re going to spend the rest of your life with him. But I remember giving you the ring, singing to you, asking you to marry me.” 

The words got caught in his throat and he stopped talking and averted his gaze. He knew he spoke the truth, it was easy to love Iris West but as it turned out, it was easy to hate her too. The intensity of what he felt for her burned like fire but without any light or happiness or joy to contain it and make it something beautiful it became destructive instead. He didn’t know what he was thinking coming to STAR Labs or falling under Iris’ spell again but there was no place for him here. Without Iris he had nothing and he’d be damned before Barry got to lead the life he was deprived of. 

What a plan a mind he said, “I can’t do this,” before hurriedly trying to leave the room but he was stopped by Iris blocking his retreat. He swallowed harshly at the feel of her body mere inches from his. Her scent wafted in his nose and he clenched his teeth tightly in response. His heart may be hardened to Iris West but his body had a mind of it’s own. 

“Yes, you can. I will be here for you, okay?”

Savitar stared at Iris in stunned silence. He was getting played, he knew it and it made him angry that despite knowing that he was still drawn to her. That he still wanted desperately to believe her. He wanted so badly to believe that she would save him and they could have a life together. But he knew that wasn’t true. 

“I tried to kill you! I killed HR!” He reminded her angrily but her expression never faltered. 

“And you are going to have to live with that, but we’re not going to give up on you. That’s not what we do. There is a way through this for all of us...where are Cisco and Caitlin?” 

Savitar looked over at Barry, who once again was giving one of his not-so reassuring nods, and Iris' words, _‘...we’re not going to give up on you, that’s not what we do...’_ flitted through his head. She was wrong, that’s exactly what Team Flash does. He was living proof of that. They used him and then wadded him like trash once before and they were doing it again. They were going to use him to get Cisco and Caitlin back and once they did they were going to let him disintegrate into nothing. The truly maddening part is what they did before was bad in and of itself but this time around they used Iris. She was their secret weapon. And they almost got him. 

“I’ll bring them home.” He promised even as that lie burned on his tongue. 

Iris smiled sweetly at him in relief and he allowed himself one long last look at her. He memorized the face that once upon a time he loved more than life itself. Those shining brown eyes, that cute nose he adored, those perfect lips...a face that he knew he would never see again.

He dashed past Iris and through STAR Labs until he skidded to a stop in the breach room. His hand trembled slightly as he took the Philosopher's Stone out of his pocket and he gave the glowing stone one last long before bringing his arm up high and smashing it against the ground. The force was only enough to crack the stone but that was more than enough. The already glowing orb glowed impossibly brighter as it started to shake uncontrollably as speed force energy began to leak out of it. 

Savitar let go of the stone and he watched as it stayed suspended in the air as it continued to hiss angrily like a teapot boiling over on the stove. He knew in only a matter of seconds the stone would explode and STAR Labs would be filled with calcified Speed Force energy. Wally and Barry might survive the blast but no one else would. Including Iris.

The thought brought on a wave of grief that Savitar wasn’t prepared for but he ignored as he took off out of STAR Labs just as the alarms started going off.  
“I win.” He thought to himself as he raced back to his lair, “I don’t need her. I win and that’s all that matters..” 

He repeated that mantra in his head over and over again. He figured if he kept telling himself that, one day he may actually believe that and the bone-crushing, mind-numbing grief would go away. 

_“I win...I don’t need her...I win...that’s all that matters...I win...I win...I don’t need her...I don’t need her...I don’t need her...I don’t need her...please...I don’t need her...”_


End file.
